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Dear Readers,Hollywood Squares was one of The Editor's favorite TV game shows, not for the game itself, but for the never-ending humor and wit of the panelists.
Here are some favorite questions and "answers" to tickle your funny bone.
Q. Do female frogs croak?A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should pretty well do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and think that he is attractive, is it okay to ask him if he's married right away?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your 5 senses diminishes as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older do you gesture more with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: Peter, you ask me one more growing old question and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. In Hawaii does it take more than three words to say I Love You?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a 20.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles so easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: No, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.
Q. Back in the olden days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car but all the rest of it is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason said that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers what are 2 things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
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Editor's Comment:
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Ahhhh hahahaha Ohhhhhhh hahahahahaha... see what I mean?
