The Country Doctor

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Dear Readers,

When in the South, it pays to know local jargon if worst comes to worst and you find yourself in front of a Doctor.

Whut It Is

Barium...........Protocol after a failed operation
Benign...........You be nine after you be eight
Cauterize........Eye contact with a flirty nurse
Clinics..........Used for runny noses

Dilate...........To live long
Grain............Green, as in Gangrain

Hangnail.........Hang your coat on this

Impotent.........Distinguished... well known
Kidney...........Middle leg joint of a small child

Labor Pain.......Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff....The good Doctor's cane

Morbid...........Higher than whut I bid

Niagara..........Fixes a man's git up 'n go.

Nitrates.........Cheaper than day rates

Node.............I knew it

Pelvis...........Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative...A letter carrier

Seizure..........Roman emperor

Tablet...........A small table

Tow..............That thing you stub at night

Tumor............One more, an one more'n that

Urine............Opposite of you're out 

Varicose.........Nearby

Weekend..........The green apple quickstep

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Editor's Comments:

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The best plan in the South is NOT an HMO. The best plan? Relax, take it easy and stay away from the Doc altogether!

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