It's a dog's life!

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Phaedeux speaks out Dept:

Dear Master,

You are my Master. I will always be devoted to you. Nevertheless, there are a few things you do that are IRRITATING AS HELL!!

1. Blaming your gas on me...

Not funny... not funny at ALL!

2. Yelling at me for barking...

I'm a DOG you idiot!

3. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...

Stop it!!  Just STOP it!!

4. Clips having ribbons and bows;  pink toenails...

Now you know why I chew stuff up when you're not home.

5. How you act disgusted when I lick myself...

Look, we both know the truth.  You're jealous!

6. The sleight of hand; fake throw and fetch...

You fooled a dog. Whooo oooooo!!

What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet's office for the "big snip" and THEN acting surprised when I start to freak out every time we go back...

What if YOU turned into an instant soprano overnight?

8. Getting upset when I sniff your guests...

Sorry, I haven't mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. We both know who's boss here...

You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

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Editor's Comment:  Holy Catfish!!  A talking dog!!
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