Tuesday, June 14, 2011

When right turns to wrong...

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Editor's Comments:
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From The Editor's famous book Surviving Relationships with Them:

First, the axiom: If she asks at all, she indeed thinks that it does make her look fat.  So the truthful answer would be a resounding YES.

But yes, seemingly the right answer, is actually the WRONG answer.

Since the incidence of honest answers by boyfriends seems more than low on the chart, it looks like a lot of innocent shlumps have made the fatal mistake of opening their inexperienced yaps and blurting out the truth to MiLady's seemingly innocent, yet cruel and brutal question.

Once bitten, they figured out in short order that doing a little sidestep is the only way out of this mean-spirited, oft fatal vicious female trap.

The only possible answers allowing Mr. Studmuffin to escape with his life are all paradoxically expressed in company with an extreme look of pitiful beguiling innocence. They are:

1.  No my darling, you look ravishing.

2.  Fat?  You are NOT fat my sweet.
Note: At times these two answers require a behind the back King's X
to avoid being struck by lightning.

3.  Did the Braves win last night?
Note: Although slightly possible, this answer usually won't work if it's been raining for a solid week or it's during the winter time.

4.  Would you like some chocolate my dear?
Note: Requires real chocolate; not M&Ms.

5. I'll fix you a martini while you're making yourself impossibly beautiful, Gorgeous.
Note: PBR does not equate to a martini.

If none of these answers do the trick you are doomed for sure.

The only recourse is to fake a massive coronary with the hope that after your miraculous recovery it will all turn out OK in the wash.

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