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Chemistry 101 Dept:
Ladies and Gentlemen:
Today you are to take the essay portion of your final examination for this term.
Originality and factual research will count heavily toward your overall grade.
Today you are to take the essay portion of your final examination for this term.
Originality and factual research will count heavily toward your overall grade.
You are to write a one page paper on the subject: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
Editor's note:
Exothermic entities give off while endothermic entities absorb heat.
I think that we can safely assume once a soul goes to Hell that it will stay, therefore NO souls are leaving... none at ALL!
As far as the number of souls entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions insist that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people can neither realistically nor morally belong to more than one religion, we can project that ALL souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
We now must become aware of the rate of change of the volume in Hell for if the temperature and pressure in Hell are to stay the same, the volume of Hell must expand proportionally as souls are added which is consistent according to Boyle's Law.
This gives us two realistic possibilities:
1. Hell is expanding at a slower rate than that of the number of souls entering causing an increase in both the temperature and pressure with the eventual result of all Hell breaking loose.
2. Hell is expanding at a faster rate than that of the number of souls entering, causing the temperature and pressure to drop with the eventual result of Hell freezing over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Miss Theresa Whimseley during high school that It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you! and take into account the fact that I slept with her only last night, then number two must be true.
Thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is, that since Hell has frozen over, it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore now extinct.
Since Hell no longer exists, this leaves only Heaven which proves both the existence of a divine being and why Theresa kept shouting
Oh my God over and over again during our clandestine sojourn of last night!
Editor's note:
Exothermic entities give off while endothermic entities absorb heat.
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Editor's Comment:
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The Editor being a proctor for this exam, watched over the shoulder of The King of Nerds as he wrote the following brilliant treatise:
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Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time; that is to say, the rate at which souls are moving into Hell, as opposed to the rate at which they are leaving.I think that we can safely assume once a soul goes to Hell that it will stay, therefore NO souls are leaving... none at ALL!
As far as the number of souls entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions insist that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people can neither realistically nor morally belong to more than one religion, we can project that ALL souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
We now must become aware of the rate of change of the volume in Hell for if the temperature and pressure in Hell are to stay the same, the volume of Hell must expand proportionally as souls are added which is consistent according to Boyle's Law.
This gives us two realistic possibilities:
1. Hell is expanding at a slower rate than that of the number of souls entering causing an increase in both the temperature and pressure with the eventual result of all Hell breaking loose.
2. Hell is expanding at a faster rate than that of the number of souls entering, causing the temperature and pressure to drop with the eventual result of Hell freezing over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Miss Theresa Whimseley during high school that It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you! and take into account the fact that I slept with her only last night, then number two must be true.
Thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is, that since Hell has frozen over, it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore now extinct.
Since Hell no longer exists, this leaves only Heaven which proves both the existence of a divine being and why Theresa kept shouting
Oh my God over and over again during our clandestine sojourn of last night!
****
The Editor is happy to report a grade of A+
The Editor is happy to report a grade of A+
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