Tying the knot

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Dearly Beloved Dept:

Dear Readers,

At some point in the life of most guys, there comes a moment when popping the question becomes significant.  Conversely, for MiLady
this moment morphs to a decision between 2 more than meaningful words; Yes or No.

Up to this time, the battle to find Mr. Right or Miss Perfect has been raging on, oft times for years and years on end.

So exactly how DOES one select the perfect mate?

Ah, the age-old question!

Our very own offspring now provide surprising insight into both the process and criteria related to this baffling and unknown process.

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How do you decide whom to marry?

Alan, age 10

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you're into sports then she should like it that you're into sports;  and she should always keep the chips, dip, pretzels and beer coming on for sure.

Kristen, age 10

No person really decides who they are going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out who you're stuck with later on.

What is the right age to get married?

Camille, age 10

23 is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

Freddie, age 6

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. 

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
Derrick, age 8
You have to guess; like if they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

Monica, age 10

When they both look like each other or their pet.

What do you think your Mom and Dad have in common?

Lori, age 8

Both of them don't want any more kids. 

Mark, age 8

They each have their own bedroom.

Regina, age 10

They like to yell a lot.

What do most people do on a date?

Lynette, age 9
Dates are for having fun. People should use them to get to know each other.  Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. 
Martin, age 10
On the first date they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go out together on a second date.

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

Craig, age 9
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call the newspapers and make sure they all wrote about me in their dead columns. 

Lydia, age 9

I'd go up to a really big man and tell him that I was being kidnapped.

When is it OK to kiss someone?

Pam, age 7
When they're rich. 

Curt, age 7

The law says you have to be 18 so I wouldn't want to mess with that. 

Howard, age 8

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone then you should marry them and have kids with them.  It's just the right thing to do.

Roland, age 10

It's OK to kiss somebody only if you're in the Mafia and you have to.

Is it better to be single or married?

Theodore, age 8

I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to smooch with my wife.  I don't want to be all grossed out.
Anita, age 9
It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them and run the vacuum and stuff.

How would it be different if people didn't get married?

Kelvin, age 8
There sure would be lots of kids to explain, wouldn't there? 
Marcia, age 9
I'm not sure if it would really be that much different, but I wouldn't want to be in the diamond business for sure.

How would you make a marriage work?

Felicia, age 10

Don't make your husband take out the trash or pick up his socks.
Ricky, age 10
Tell your wife she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.

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Editor's comment:  Durn! Why didn't I think of all this stuff?
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