It's A Dog's Life

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Such a Deal Dept:

..................Will Swap:.White satin wedding
..................gown (worn once) for 50 pounds
..................fresh or 75 pounds dry dog food.

-The Kentucky Gentleman News-Trader
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Editor's Comments:
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What happened here was that at the reception, the bride thought that she overheard one of the guest's say that she "looked like a dog".

Depressed, she developed a phobia, refusing all nourishment except dry Gravy Train. She also insisted on bringing in the evening paper between her teeth, but worst of all took to chasing cars as they pass- ed by the house, snapping at their tires with great abandon.

So - seeing no need for a wedding gown any longer, and in order to keep his new bride happy, the unfortunate husband posted the above notice to the 'For barter or trade' section of The Kentucky Gentle- man, a news flyer widely distributed throughout the local area.

The tragic part is that the guest was not talking about the bride at all.

He was relating the fact that during the reception he had consumed so much raspberry punch and wedding cake that he planned to go home and "sleep like a log".

The bride is currently undergoing .psychoanalysis, however while progress is being made and she will now accept Purina in addition to the Gravy Train, there is reportedly no hope for a complete recovery.

Resigned to the situation, the groom's only comment when asked was: "Yup, she's got a purty big appetite, but she's cheap to feed."