Men are from Mars...

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Editor's Comments:
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This poor schmoe has to be young, a mistake most of us have made at one time or another, especially if it occurred in our early years.
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As The Editor has progressed down the path of life, he has become an expert at the art of translating common utterances of MiLady, a skill that has undoubtedly saved his life more than once.
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To spare my naive males readers the frustration resulting from literal translations of femalespeak, find below a brief primer on the subject.
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Men:
1. Read it.
2. Memorize it.
3. Don't ever forget it.

You'll never be sorry!

....................WOMANESE.
What she "said":....What she REALLY said:.
1.Yes...............No
2.No................Yes
3.Maybe.............No
4.We need...........I want
5.I'm sorry.........You'll be sorrier later on.
6.We need to talk...You're in serious trouble.
7.Sure, go ahead....Want to live? You'd better not.
*see newspaper ad above
8.I am not upset....Of course I'm upset, you moron.
9.Nothing...........Something
10.Finel............This discussion is over.

Women:
Please submit additions or corrections to The Editor. He will be everlastingly grateful!