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Dateline New London:
Headline:
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PEDESTRIAN SERIOUSLY
INJURED BY TURNIP
Police are investigating the assault of a manwho was seriously injured after being hit by
a turnip launched by a slingshot Thursday.
The attack was apparently carried out by a
gang whose members have been hurling veg-
gies at random passers-by for several days.
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Editor's Comments:
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There was an immediate hue-and-cry to control all purchase and use of turnips using background checks, fingerprinting, a 24-hour waiting period and mandatory license to carry a concealed turnip.
Cooler heads prevailing, it was determined that Second Amendment rights must not be eroded, so hastily formed congressional commit- tees tabled the issue of turnip control with no further discussion.
You betcha!!
When turnips are outlawed, only outlaws will have turnips!!
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