Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

Final Exam Dept:
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We all fail at times, but there's something a- bout failing with style that somehow seems
to spell success. .Here are answers from ap- parentlylclueless,lyet lunconsciouslylbril- liant studentslinlour secondary school sys- tems when askedlquestions about their recent studies.
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The Classics:
Question: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
Answer:....Learning to speak Latin.
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Chemistry:
Question: Explain why phosphorus tricloride (PCl3) is polar.
Answer:....Because God made it that way.
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The Classics:
Question: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death?
Answer:....Suspicious ones.
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Biology:
Question: Give an example of a smoking-related disease.
Answer:....Early death.
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Geophysics(Vulcanology):
Question: What does the term "lava" mean?
Answer:....A prepubescent caterpillar.
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Biology:
Question: What is a plasmid?
Answer:....A high-definition television.
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Religion:
Question: Christians only have one spouse; what is this called?
Answer:....Monotony. ..No, wait - Torture.
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Physics:
Question: Name an environmental side effect of burning fossil fuels.
Answer:....Fire.
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Geography:
Question: Name one famous Greek landmark.
Answer:....The most famous Greek landmark is the Apocalypse.
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History:
Question: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer:....At the bottom.
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Geography:
Question: The people known as Malays originated in which country?
Answer:....Malaria.
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Grammar:
Question: Name two personal pronouns.
Answer:....Who, me?
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Math: ............................n
Question: Expand (a+b)
Answer:.....................n
.....................(a..+..b)........n
.....................( .a. ..+ ...b .).................n
.....................(...a.........+..........b...)
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(Math teacher's note): Very funny Jimmy... X
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Editor's Comments:
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Does everyone out there realize that these little monsters; our future hopes, our future dreams, our future leaders all; are someday to be tasked with the survival of the entire species??
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The good news is that even if they don't know, they're trying.
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I think that there may be hope...