The Lion's Share

Seafood Dept:
.
Dateline Seattle:
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Hungry sea lions have been eating nearly
half the salmon and steelheads that swim
upstream to spawn in Lake Washington.
OK... it's their ocean and they gotta eat...
.
The sea lions find exceptionally good fish-
ing at Seattle's Ballard Locks fish ladder.
And takelitlfromlanlold-time fisherman,
when they're bitin' it draws a big crowd.
.
According to biologist Bob Pfiefer, the sea
lions aren't fazed by M-80 firecrackers...
Especiallyliflthey're stilllinlthe box, unlit
and soaked through with river water.
.
Going a step further fireworks were used
butlseallions weren't afraid of them either.
Notlonlylwereltheylunafraid, theylwent
ooooh and ahhhh when thelsky lit up.
.
Experts triedlprotectinglthelfishlbylplay-
ing loud tapes of various bands...
This sounds like a real expert solution...
... including music by Motley Crue...
Which only drew more sea lions, who're
real good whenlit comes to spreadin' the
word about a free concert in town.
... and speeches by Muhammar Khaddafi.
Which expert got the bright idea that sea
lions would understand Arabic any more
than a boxful of M-80s or fireworks?
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Editor's Comments:
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The problem was neatly solved when oneloflthe experts' kids convinced his Papa to set up a big- screen TV and run old black-and-white episodes
of The Adventures of Flipper.
.
Enraptured by the escapades of the heroic dolphin, the sea lions sat spellbound for hours on end, glued in front of the telly, cheering on their distant kin.
.
When they learned about Campbell's chicken noodle soup during a commercial break, they went right out and bought a couple of cases.
.
It turns out they liked it so much that they gave up both steelheads and salmon forever. .The problem was over for good and all!
.
Now THAT was an expert solution!! .Nice goin' kid!!