Slap StickUp

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Try try again Dept:
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Local/State:
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. .............BANK ROBBERY FOILED
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On November 18,lalman wearing a sweatshirt
with the hood pulled tightly over his head and
a blue mask covering all but his eyes pounded
on the front door of the Security Federal Bank
of Retchester, scaring employees who were in-
side at the time, tallying the days receipts.
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After several attempts tolpushlopen the front
door whichlwaslplainlylmarked pull, the man
fled into the street. Police at the scene said that
almost the same identical thing happened at an-
other area bank last June but didn't give...
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Editor's Comments:
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The suspect was spotted at nearby coin laundry hiding inside a dryer, but when officers approached he quickly vanished into Flocher's Dis- count Department store located across the street, apparently hoping to lose himself in the weekend crowd of bargain-hunting shoppers.
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Not realizing that he was still masked, he jumped onto a broken esca- lator where he remained, nonchalant and totally unaware that he did- n't particularly seem to be going anywhere.
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Easily spottinglthelmotionless fugitive despitelthelbustling throng, Sergeant U. Ben Hadd, an off-duty plainclothesman of the Retchester Vice Squad, made the arrest after receiving an alert on his cell phone.
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A confessionlwaslobtainedlinlshort order. .It was also revealed that
on September 22, the very same man, attempting to enter a different bank, this time through the revolving door in front, proceeded to go all the way around and out again, the same way he entered.
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Totally confused, he returned home to plan his next caper.
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Everything turned out fine when Hollywood heard of the bungled heists because after he got out of the slammer the man auditioned to portray Marv, one of the bungling burglars in the smash hit movie:
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Home Alone

Marv is the one who wore a stocking cap and got smacked in the head with a swinging paint bucket attached to a rope by Kevin McCallister, the home-alone kid who was 10 times smarter than either thief.
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Remember? Oh Noooo - Boink... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
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Now this might seem like a more than tough was to earn a living for some, but at least there is no risk of 5-to-10 in the slammer.