ShoNuff ShoGun, Chapter VII

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Part the seventh: (Glossary)
Anjin The Wise

Our story continues as Anjin-san, now having decided on the punishment for Toranaga, tackles the ambitious chore of establishing himself with the people as their foremost and revered leader...

To ensure his everlasting popularity, Anjin-san declared a national holiday, ordering a nation-wide celebration and splendid feast for all in the time-honored and now dominant tradition of Western culture.

Bacon double-cheeseburgers, fries, and diet cola for everyone!
... he yelled to the thunderous applause of all present.

Three cheers for Anjin-sama, Shogun and High Lord of The Canton!!
... decreed the crowd as they screamed in unison:

Hip hip - hooLAY!
Hip hip - hooLAY!
Hip hip - hooLAY!

- they cried, now joined together in a brotherhood the like of which none had known ever before.
.
Hip hip - hooLAY!
Hip hip - hooLAY!
Hip hip - hooLAY! - they roared...

Even though this technically amounted to six cheers rather than the prescribed three, the Anjin, deciding to ignore the slight oversight, beamed in pride at this, the ultimate display of honor, love, respect, and affection from the general populace.

Moved beyond words, he took a solemn oath that never again would he allow his people to be denied bacon double-cheeseburgers, fries, diet cola, or... yes - even the newest rage, hot apple pie ala-mode.

But is that really enough for these faithful and loyal citizens?
...pondered the new Lord.

What about the horrible preponderance of Oriental liver flukes, clonorchis sinensis, suffered by virtually every man, woman and child in the entire country?

There simply isn't enough  praziquantel to treat everyone ...and, he further lamented, there's the cost to consider - oh my word indeed, the huge, terrible, heart-wrenching cost...

You betcha folks, the future of the country sure looked bleak since, as it was still in the planning stages, no national health care plan was yet in place. Unable to withstand soaring premiums of anything more than your basic medical care, the rank-and-file were at the mercy of corrupt insurance racketeers.

A gentle and loving smile came over his countenance as he suddenly came to exactly the right conclusion; a solution that would ensure the health of not only his devoted subjects, but also the eco-system of the entire planet... forever!

Finding no bull-horn, and with microphones and sound systems yet to be invented, Anjin-san first called for silence from the rejoicing masses and then, with his hands held high overhead, he boomed out the best he could in his thin, reedy, tenor voice:

I HEARBY DECREE THAT IN THE ISLANDS OF NIPPON, RAW FISH IN ANY FORM WHATSOEVER IS NO LONGER ALLOWED FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION!

-SAAAVE THE WHALES!!

Hip hip - hooLAY!,
Hip hip - hooLAY!,
Hip hip - hooLAY!,
Hip hip - hooLAY!,
    

- cried the overjoyed people as one between enormous mouthfuls of bacon double-cheeseburger and flies... I mean fries.

They were saved... saved at last, thanks be to both great Anjin-san, Hai Lord of The Canton, and the wise and beautiful Vairocana, Holy embodiment of Dharmakaya.
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THE END... sort of 

What's that?  NO, it's not quite over just yet...

There are still LOTS of loose ends yet unresolved,
but hang on people, it's almost the end... really. 

Click here to see what Anjin-san does
to Toranaga's henchmen in
Chapter VIII of 

ShoNuff ShoGun