ShoNuff ShoGun, Chapter X

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Part the tenth: (Glossary)
The End of it All: Anjin-san

Eventually becoming known as Anjin The Wise, history books read that the former ship's pilot, both loved and hated, ruled for many years as Shogun. Still feared and despised by members of a smallish clique remaining firmly steeped in traditional Japanese ways, he was nonetheless honored and respected by all.

Always a champion of the people, throughout the golden age of his rule it was the consensus of his faithful and loyal subjects that their revered Anjin-sama was basically without fault.

As the size of his oooku increased in number, he became father to so many children that he was able to start his very own baseball league, the players on all of the teams, naturally having the same last name.
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Keeping viable league statistics proved to be somewhat of a mess, but this was discounted when it turned out that Anjin's team always won, which was actually all that really mattered to him.

After a period of time, Anjin-san became known as a pretty darn fair country baseball player himself.

But since Shogunly duties as High Lord of The Canton prevented him from attending regular team workouts, other than shagging after ground balls during batting practice, pinch-hitting when the game was all but lost and leading Take Me Out to the Ball Game during the 7th inning stretch, he was mainly relegated to sitting on the bench, eating bags of hot buttered popcorn, and cheering himself hoarse.

Although supremely disappointed at what he considered his failure, being a fighter to the end he didn't give up on active sports entirely.

His hopes of becoming a star baseball player dashed beyond repair, and now finding the once coveted positions of Shogun and High Lord of the Canton to be nothing more than boring exercises in humdrum court proceedings, his incessant craving for action at last led him to formally commence lessons in the time-honored national pastime of Japan, Ping-Pong.

In the interest of national pride as well as respect and deference to their honorable leader, it was widely reported by the liberal press that the Anjin showed great promise as a rising star. Unbeknown to most however, was the ugly truth. The fact of the matter was, that no matter how much he practiced or how hard he tried, the Anjin was extremely weak when it came to the revered Far-Eastern sport since he was not only slow on his feet, but invariably insisted on ponging when instead he should have been pinging.

Besides that, his backhand was all but non-existent.

His footwork problems might have been solved, but he steadfastly insisted on wearing his black leather pirate boots with their silver buckles rather than traditional rubber-soled Neekay footwear as did everyone else.

Despite ongoing efforts by the best players in the land to improve his bad form, he stubbornly contended that since he was the boss his way was the right way... moreover, that it was the ONLY way.

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As time wore on, his weak backhand and sloppy footwork fell to the status of relatively minor concern, as the main issue in his lack of progress continued to be the ponging versus pinging business.

Anjin-san remained adamant, obstinately refusing to ping when he should pong and when tempers at last reached the boiling point The Council of Regents was convened to resolve the dispute.

After but a short deliberation, members of the Council quickly came to a unanimous decision, finding against the Anjin's arguments then ruling him basically out-of-order.

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Their opinion, written without dissent, went on even further asserting that Pong-Ping wouldn't cut it, particularly since a sizeable marketing effort directed towards both the Western world and Zimbabwe was on the drawing boards and all but ready for the launching.

Due to their verdict, it was officially declared that with regard to the issue of Ping-Pong, vs Pong-Ping, the mighty Lord, Liege, and Master of the people was seemingly the only one out of step... the only one that didn't get it.

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As a result of The Council's unyielding stance, Anjin-san was publicly censured and removed from active status on the national team.

And since the appeals process had not yet been invented, the ruling of the Council was incontestable. Their verdict stood - forever!!

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Case closed!!

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Now relegated to the humiliating position of ball-boy during all match play, the Anjin angrily turned in his paddle and jerseys, quit the sport in disgust and was never known to pong or ping either one for the rest of his days. .How sad is that?

Ah so, Honorable Readers... I guess nobody's perfect... not even the great Anjin-sama, Shogun, and High Lord of The Canton.

THE EN...

(oh, never mind)

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Epilogue to

ShoNuff ShoGun